How Do Your Thoughts Ultimately Affect Your Behavior?
How Do Your Thoughts Ultimately Affect Your Behavior? Let Me Break It Down.
Do you have any idea how influential one single thought can be? It can be the catalyst for how you decide to behave in any situation. My goal is to explain how this happens step by step. But first, let’s address how strong the mind-body connection is. They are regularly sending signals and messages back and forth to each other. For example, when you have criticizing thoughts about your body, your body feels it. And when you feel in your body like something may be off, your brain is alerted. We may see them as separate entities, but they aren’t. In fact, they are close friends and often lean on one another. Keep this in mind as you continue to read.
What are thoughts? According to Dr. Daniel Amen, one of America's leading psychiatrists and brain health experts, “Thoughts are just sentences produced by the mind.” That’s it. They are influenced by external circumstances and are unique and specific to things we have experienced personally. He goes on to say, “You don’t have to believe every thought you have. Thoughts lie. They lie a lot.” Because they come from our own head, we tend to believe them at face value. However, accepting and believing every thought we have can have negative consequences if we aren’t careful.
Thoughts of the past (replaying scenarios/ wishing you would have done or said something differently) can lead to feelings of shame, regret, and guilt. Thoughts of the future (anything that hasn’t happened yet/ the “what if” thoughts) can lead to feelings of fear, doubt, and anxiety. Remember that mind-body connection. It’s very real.
Does it all start with a thought? Mostly, yes. One thought can initiate an entire chain of events that eventually causes you to do or not do something. It looks like this:
Thought(s) appear.
Thought(s) produces an emotion.
Emotion produces sensations in the body.
Sensations in the body produce an action(s).
Let me explain that in a little more detail. A single thought typically sparks a collection of thoughts. Since most thoughts happen subconsciously—meaning we don’t even know we’re thinking them—these thoughts are running wild upstairs before you even notice. The mind sends a signal to the body to trigger an emotion. Keep in mind that at the point an emotion is triggered, you still might not be aware. Why? Because it’s not until an emotion produces a sensation in the body do we even know we are feeling a certain kind of way. So before you feel the racing heart or sweaty palms, your mind and body have already been hard at work. Once the sensation has alerted your body that it should be sad, angry, anxious, etc., you’ll start to do whatever will make the emotional discomfort go away. You desire to have your body back in a state of calm! This will compel you to behave in a way to make this happen.
What are some more specific examples? Let’s go deeper. The scenario is this: You want to have a hard conversation with a friend.
Thought(s) appear. —> “Well, what if she gets mad at me?” That’s followed by thoughts and scenarios of what that would look like; she yells, stops talking to me, tells me something I don’t want to hear, and so on. (These initial thoughts are usually unconscious. You don’t notice you have them)
Thought(s) produces an emotion. —> Anxiety
Emotion produces sensations in the body. —> Racing heart, shortness of breath, uneasiness, tightness in chest, etc. (THIS is the point where you feel the emotion)
Sensations in the body produce an action(s). —> You end up not having the conversation. (Because you want to restore the calm in your body and avoid any more possible discomfort)
Now let’s look at that same scenario with a positive thought.
Thought(s) appear. —> “She is going to be grateful that I trust her enough to have an honest conversation. Plus, I’ll feel better once it’s resolved.”
Thought(s) produces an emotion. —> Optimism or confidence
Emotion produces sensations in the body. —> Energized, open-hearted, calm
Sensations produce an action(s). —> You move forward with the conversation
Do I have control over my thoughts? You do not have control over what thought appears, but once you become aware that you are thinking the thought, you do have control over what happens next. You can choose to stop the train of thought, allow it to spiral into more thoughts, or replace it with a thought that serves you better. You can allow it to enhance or ruin your day. You can grant it permission to influence your mood positively or negatively.
How do you become aware that you’re thinking a thought? PAY ATTENTION. You’re the only one who can hear your thoughts. Our daily lives are hectic and oftentimes we find ourselves on auto-pilot. Auto-pilot is a dangerous place for a busy mind. Thoughts are allowed to run wild up there! When you’re on auto-pilot, you relinquish control over your thoughts. But once you slow down, take time to be present, and start being intentional about recognizing what’s being said upstairs, you regain your control.
I challenge you to start noticing and observing your thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking about things that don’t serve you . . . take a few deep breaths to clear your mind and re-center. Then ask yourself, “What do I want to do with this thought?” or “What would I rather be thinking?” Then choose what happens next. Become the ruler of your mind instead of the prisoner.