Trust Your Struggle
The human life wasn’t created to be easy. We all know that. If you don’t, you better get to know it very quickly. The purpose of going through hardships and struggles is to learn and ultimately grow. That’s living! What a shame it would be to go your whole life without ever evolving. To never see yourself, other people, and the world from a fresh and loving perspective. To never experience inner peace. To be bitter and full of resentment forever. You are here to live out your journey. Whether you believe your path is already set for you or you have a choice along the way, it’s up to you HOW you experience it.
No one is exempt from pain and struggles. We will all be exposed to it in our lifetimes. However, when we’re the one in pain and we’re the one struggling, it’s hard to remember and accept this. We can get so caught up the why—why is this happening to me?—that we get a little lost in our own misfortune. It’s really important when we’re suffering through hard times not to get so lost that we can’t find our way back. And let me tell you . . . it’s really easy to do.
I don’t have the magic solution that can solve all your troubles because there isn’t one. You must endure them like the rest of us. I’m also not going to tell you that you won’t face things that will bring you to your knees because it’s basically guaranteed. I’m only trying to tell you that you get to choose how you encounter those situations. How and what you experience. How you cope with it. What you learn from it. How you let it affect you. How long you allow your ego to lead. Your entire experience is up to you.
Dr. Phil often talks about something his father used to tell him, “Boy, you need to spend 5% of your time deciding whether you’ve got a good deal or a bad deal. And 95% of your time deciding what you’re going to do about it.” This reeeeally stuck with me. Most people, including myself at times, do just the opposite. They spend 95% of their time pissed off that something terrible is happening, complaining about it to others, and feeling sorry for themselves. They spend 5% of their time taking a step back, accepting what is, and determining what they are going to do about it. Of course you need that 5% of time (or a little more if you like) to be pissed off, but at some point you must suck it up and play the hand you’ve been dealt. The more time you spend complaining and being pissed that life isn’t always going your way, the less time you spend actually enjoying what you do have and figuring out how to get more of what you want.
It’s essential to feel out the emotion or emotions that are being generated (sadness, fear, heartache, anger, loneliness). I always say that emotions are very real and no one can ever tell you how you’re feeling. And no one should ever tell you that what you’re feeling is wrong. You’re the one feeling it. Sit with your emotions and really feel them. Where are they coming from and why? Emotions are there to tell you something about yourself so pay attention. Once you have given the proper amount of time to them, you must then take steps to move forward and back to a more positive emotional state. Be careful not to sit in negative emotions for too long or they can become your normal. You never want negative emotions to be your normal.
So how do you do that? You just take it day by day. You focus on the next 24 hours ahead of you. You do the best you can with that day. You search for the good. You do things that make you happy. You plan things to look forward to. You find ways to be grateful for what you do have. When the negative emotions come back, do your best. Some days are worse than others. And it’s okay to have bad days, but don’t let those bad days turn into bad months or years. Life ebbs and flows. You are going to have stretches where life is good. And you will have stretches where life sucks. We often forget to enjoy the good life stretches. When you’re in a pretty good place, appreciate it. Don’t spend every day complaining because you can find something to complain about in every day. Another bad life stretch is coming and you’re not going to get a heads up. When it gets here, you’re going to WISH you could go back to where you were when you were complaining about insignificant shit.
It’s hard to keep a positive mindset in the face of adversity. And no, it’s not going to solve all of your problems. But when you look at your struggles with these eyes, not only will you desire a solution quickly so you can get peace, but the solutions you produce will be from a productive place. A negative headspace lures you to play the victim for longer than you should. It’s real nice and cozy there. People will give you attention and baby you. You can blame everything else going wrong in your life on that one thing. But be careful because it’s dangerous there. You’re not going to find some resolution constantly playing the victim. And people will eventually get tired of helping you when you aren’t helping yourself.
Life is demanding but you are resilient by design. Believe it or not, you can handle anything that life gives you. It may not seem like it while you are surviving the storm, but you are strong enough. Nothing is a mistake and everything happens right on time. Know that it’s all apart of YOUR journey. Trust your gut. Take it one day at a time. Breathe. Things are always going to happen to you, but it’s up to you on how you respond.
